The truth is not the best thing to share….

This memory popped into my head and I feel compelled to share. I am still not sure how this journey
will proceed but I will continue sharing my stories.

Adam lives in a large rental home with his elderly mother, adult son, the son’s wife and their three kids,
and a room mate.
He has resided in this home for over 22 years and was living there with his wife until the separation in

2012. I say wife because they are still legally married as of now. That is another cray cray story that I
      promise to share later.
      Some time in the early 2000s, Adams mom and his step dad moved in with them and I am not sure what
      the real reason is as I heard many reasons/stories over the year. His stepfather (who was the man who
      raised him) passed away in 2013 (estimated)

So the people who live there (minus the roommate) have lived there together for years.

One day about 3 years in I was sitting with his mother at a sports game he was coaching. His mother
went to every single game he coached whether it was local or out of town. She never missed one. Not a
single game. She started to tell me a story. Here is what she told me.

MAMA SAID…….

When she was younger and got pregnant with him she was completely alone. Adam has an older
brother and an older sister. She was abandoned by her husband and had decided to give him up for
adoption. She was giving birth in a Catholic Hospital. It was the mid 60s and at that time the nuns
would usually take the baby right after birth keeping the mother from seeing the baby. This was
thought to make the separation easier. But his mom demanded the nuns to bring him so she could say
goodbye. And when she saw him she changed her mind.
Nice story. NO just wait
She told him about it when he was a child. And she was so flippant about it I was disturbed by how she
just said all this matter of factly. I was stunned into silence.
I asked him about it later and it was a sore spot for him. In the following years I had heard her bring this
up at dinner with her adult grandchildren present. And she chuckled. Distrubing.
One of his adult children remarked how rude it was and how she should never had told him. I totally
agree. It never had to be told
So this brings me to what I believe this did to him. I now know that he has a trauma bond with her. She
has a control over him and she uses it to her advantage. He will never leave her. He will not move out

of that house. He future faked me for years telling we would get married and live together. We even
looked at homes together. BUT that is another cray cray story for another time.

Love yourself… Ruth