The year I first saw (sort of met in a way) Adam I was working as a Kindergarten teacher.  I first saw him one day when he came to the class to pick up his grandson who was in my class.  Usually his mother came to get the boy but that day he was there.  I always stood at the door making sure the kids went home with the correct person and that day I saw Adam and he yelled over to his grandson.  “Hey buddy I am picking you up today”  So I looked down at the boy and asked,  “Who is that?”  He answered, ‘My papa”  So I stepped forward and said hello and released the boy to him.  And just like that Adam turned on his heel and hustled off quickly.  I was a little put off but found out later it was because he was nervous.  He thought I was good looking and too nervous to speak to me.  At the time I was in a relationship with someone and was not even remotely interested.  However, when he turned to walk away I could see tattoos on the back of his calves. I love tattoos on men and thought to myself, :”He does not look like a papa to me”  . I was thinking of my own papa who was a feeble very old man who could barely walk and he passed away from liver disease when I was only ten years old.  He was an amazing man.  

Later (about 1.5 years later)

I had been single for a few months and one Saturday night I was checking out my facebook page and this name kept popping up under friend suggestions (people you may know).  That night I clicked on the picture and saw the “single” in his profile.  I read some of his posts and found myself physically attracted to him.  It was a good picture and at that time I had NOT made the connection.  

I used to be a very outgoing person and have a lot of self confidence and if I was out somewhere and wanted to meet a man that I saw I would eventually work up the courage to go speak to him if I saw he was showing interest.  Men like this and a few times this would turn into a date or a relationship.  I had been divorced for 7 years and been in 3 relationships that lasted more than 6 months. I went on several dates that turned out to be a mistake and I never repeated it. Once was enough.

That night I clicked on the message button and sent off a message.  I cannot remember exactly what I said but it worked.  We ended up chatting for over an hour.  He did not ask me out then but I felt he eventually would.  

I logged off and had trouble falling asleep.  Something in my  mind was nagging me.  It was his name. Not his first name but his last name.  I finally dozed off.

Around 9 am I sat up with a start.  I knew who he was (or at least I thought I did).  So I went back to his page searching for clues.  I still was not sure.  I saw some posts and one of them was talking about something that had happened near his house (it was a housefire).  One person asked “where do you live?  And he answered with the cross streets. So I googled the streets and saw it was right next to the school I worked at.  And it clicked.  The last name was the same as the boy in my class.  

So I sent a message and asked him, “Is…..your grandson?  Did he go to ……school?”  He answered yes. Then I told him who I was.  It was on after that.  He had an interest in me before so now that I was messaging him he finally had the nerve to ask me out.  And I accepted.

Why oh why did I do that?  Had I known what would happen or had any clue I would have said no.  But he was good.  Oh so good.   I will describe our first date soon but long story short I was LOVE BOMBED.  It was so effective as I had spent the last four years of my life fighting for my ex husbands affection and attention and here I was getting oodles and oodles of it.  It threw me off and I lapped it up. However, around the 4th year of our relationship it began to annoy me because I started to figure him out.  I was love bombed in front of people.  Never when we were alone. It caused irritation with other people around too because he would be gushing about me and the women would say things to their partners like, “How come you do not act like that?’  And the men became irritated because it made them look bad.   There did come a point at the end he would try this and I would literally tell him to “SHUT UP”  Because I realized it was a diversion tactic.   He would do it to end an argument or if he showed up late he would do this. I had him pegged by the end. But this was before I had read any books and before I knew there was a term for it.  LOVE BOMBING.

And it is fitting because after this relationship I felt like I had gone through a war.   I was in hell.  BUT I WAS FREE…..

Love and peace … Ruth

So I was curious and intrigued but at that time that was all I felt.