Thank you for continuing with me on this journey. Today I will digress. This will happen now and then
when certain memories, thoughts or ideas come up and I must share them when the feelings are hot.

So today’s topic.
Relationships and sex. I have always been a person who enjoyed relationships and sex. Once I was out a
relationship after a few months I was always ready to “get back in the saddle” LOL.
But this last time was different. I am different. My life is different My thought processes are different.
My choice of pastimes is different. Today I will focus on relationships and sex.
After the final breakup (I left him) I was in no mood to consider dating. I did try once about six months
after. I signed up on a respectable dating site (no swiping left or right for me – no offense to those who
do) I signed up paid the 3 month fee and set off on finding a match. I began chatting with a handsome
man a few years younger than me (like 4). He and I hit it off and had similar likes and dislikes and best of
all similar sarcastic senses of humor.
We chatted for about a week and one night he messaged me and asked me out. I accepted. But as the
date grew nearer I started to realized I did not want to go. In fact I dreaded the idea. I sent off an
apology with an explanation and promptly deleted my profile despite the fact I had two months and two
weeks left. I was NOT ready.

That was about two and a half years ago. I am STILL NOT READY. I am content in my life. I have a good
job I enjoy, I come home and I have hobbies (writing and painting). I love watching old movies. I am
almost finished with a novel which is historical fiction. It is about the Hollywood scene in the 1930’s.
More on that later. I am NEVER bored. I NEVER think about going out. I NEVER look at men. I NEVER
think about relationships and I NEVER think about sex. I do not get horny often and if I do it passes fast.
I am quite content this way. Trust me this is 100 percent truth
Now I am wondering, Will I always be this way? Am I asexual now? Or am I just too old for this shit?

Please if you could leave a comment (if you are one of the recovering) and answer a few questions
because I honestly do not know if this is typical.

1. How long have you been out of (away) from the narc?
2. Have you dated anyone since? Was it successful?
3. Do you think about dating or sex?
4. If not , do you feel abnormal (like I do)
5. If you could change this would you. (For now my answer is NO THANK YOU)
   THANKS FOR READING. CARRY ON NOW!!! ALL THE BEST TO YOU- RUTH