While I was going through all of the problems in my marriage and the last toxic relationship I rarely sought advice.  I believe this is because I knew what I would hear.  I would hear what I did not want to hear.  What I wanted was sympathy and maybe some ideas of HOW to fix the problem.  But you see the problems were unfixable.  One time I sought advice and lost the respect of a good friend.  I confided in him what had happened, totally believing at the moment I was done with him but then I went back.  I felt ashamed.  I felt like I would never seek advice again. 

Have you ever read Dear Abby?  The writer who gave two to three lines of advice for the people who sought out support.  Most of the time it was not good advice.  Abby rarely knew the back story or understood how hard it was to release yourself from the guilt that narcissists smother you with.  

Instead I wish perhaps to read the truth.  Like “get the hell out of there” or “you deserve better”  But Abby was like mom.  She was practical and kind.  She wanted people to solve problems whenever possible.  

But what if Abby had an alter ego.  The one that would speak up and not be afraid to hurt your feelings.  So I had an idea.  

What about my dual egos?  I spent years being the Abby version.  Patient, forgiving and kind.  Now I am the evil twin. Kicking ass and taking names.  So I have compiled some of my own problems to use for my twins.  I will present my problem and allow Ruth and Ruthie to give advice

Ruth is the practical, mature, emotionally healthy, forgiving woman.

Ruthie is jaded, tired, pissed off and will be taking names and kicking ass.  So who knows?

Perhaps this is part of my healing.  Perhaps it is just for “entertainment purposes only”

So I hope you enjoy them.  And who knows maybe one day YOU can send me your question and I will have Ruth/Ruthie answer you.  I know I am still both of these women.  Though Ruthie seems to be the one who is in charge these days.  

DEAR RUTH.  Enjoy the stories.  And these stories are based on fact with names and places changed to protect the “not so innocent”